Apologizing & Forgiving

A.

The Art of Apologizing

“You must first apologize before you can have a chance at being forgiven.” The right apology will release resentment and cause all people involved to feel better. Apologizing is so important because without it, the person offended will not forget it and the resentment will continue to nag the relationship.

When apologizing it is important to validate the other person’s feelings. If they are upset by something you did or said or what ever, do not tell them THEY are overreacting. We all have a right to our feelings and by apologizing properly you are validating theirs. Say something like: “I’m sorry for yelling at you, you have a right to be upset”.

You should also say what you are sorry for, while validating their feelings: “I’m sorry for not calling when I knew I was going to be late, that was very inconsiderate of me” or “I’m sorry for getting mad at you, I was being overactive” or “I’m sorry for the things I said earlier, it was very mean of me”. When I hear “I’m sorry” with no explanation of why, I think: ‘And what are you sorry for? Do you even know? Or do you think those two words fix everything?’ By clearly admitting your mistake and not making excuses for yourself you are telling the other person that you sincerely do feel bad, and that is what they want to hear.

B.

Apologizing

I’m sorry.

I’m very sorry.

I’m terribly sorry. I’m awfully sorry.

I’m very sorry that this has happened. I didn’t mean it.

I’m sorry you’ve had to wait so long.

I’m sorry – I really am.

I’m sorry if I worried you.

I’m sorry, we’ve really let you down, and there’s no excuse.

I’m really sorry about it.

I’m sorry I’m a little late for my appointment.

I’m sorry for not calling when I knew I was going to be late, that was very inconsiderate of me.

I ‘m sorry for getting mad at you, I was being over reactive.

I’m sorry for the things I said earlier.

Sorry, I’m not ready yet.

Look, I really must apologize for what I’ve done.

Sorry, I haven’t finished it yet.

Sorry about that. I hope you don’t mind.

I hope I’m not disturbing you.

Sorry, this is all entirely my own fault.

How stupid of me! I wasn’t thing.

Sorry, I can’t find it anywhere.

Please forgive me for all this confusion.

I do beg your pardon.

I’d like to apologize for all that.

I can’t begin to say how sorry I’m about it.

Please excuse me for it.

I’m so very sorry for saying all that.

Oh, you must forgive me. I had no idea.

I have to leave early.

I hope you’ll excuse me.

Look, I didn’t mean to upset you.

C.

Accepting an apology

It’s OK.

Forget it.

That’s all right.

It’s all right. It doesn’t matter this time, but don’t repeat it.

Not at all.

Please don’t worry.

I don’t want you to feel bad about it.

That’s perfectly all right.

Don’t worry about it.

Anyone can make a mistake.

Oh well, I suppose it’s all right.

D.

Rejecting an apology

What’s the use of saying ‘sorry’?

It’s too late to say sorry now.

Look at the damage done to my bike.

It’s no use saying sorry now.

Saying ‘sorry’ just isn’t enough.

You should have done it earlier.

E.

Forgiving

It doesn’t matter.

It’s OK, but don’t do it again, will you?

All is forgiven.

It’s quite all right.

I do wish you’ll be more careful. Don’t worry about it.

It’s all right

Well, all right.

Everybody makes mistakes sometimes.

It doesn’t matter at all.

Never mind.